So it’s finally announced. The GOP Presidential debates begin on Thursday.
I suggest a slightly different one, though probably, Reverb’s is safer.
Considering that I 1. have a commitment that day (thank gods), I will be spared this dose of stupidity a la mode, but for those of you who wish to partake, then I offer you the following rules of the drinking game.
Notabene, I’m sure that there will be many drinking games, but seeing as the GOP and specifically Donald Trump demonstrated that the caliber of stupidity with the current crop of candidates is something that defies all the scientific knowledge of brains and personalities that is currently known to mankind, I wholly predict that this will be one for the record books.
Standard disclaimer: Please drink responsibly. DO NOT overdo it, even if it means turning the debate off within 10 minutes.
So! Drinking game!
What you will need is the following:
– Wine. Red or white, 2 bottles.
– Vodka, or any white/clear liquor, 3-4 bottles
– Rum, 3-4 bottles
– Goldschlager, 1 bottle
– Jaegermeister, because for some things, you gotta – 1 bottle.
– Tequila, 1 bottle
– Cushion, for headdesk moments.
Now, the rules.
For every time that anyone blames Obama – down a glass of wine.
For every policy that sounds even vaguely like trickle-down economics – shot of rum.
For every time they mention a tax cut that doesn’t touch corporations or the 1% – shot of vodka
For every time they deny climate change – shot of Jaeger.
For every time they put women’s rights on the forefront with something that makes no sense – shot of Goldschlager.
Fuck— sorry, Huckabee mentions the FBI and National Guard to fight abortion – 2 shots of Jaeger.
For every mention of guns for all, the Second Amendment, or anything similar – 3 shots of rum.
For every mention about voter fraud, welfare fraud, or Medicare fraud – 2 glasses of wine
For every mention of bootstraps or ‘job creation’ or ‘all about jobs – 2 shots of vodka. 3 if the candidate themselves sounds drunk.
For every mention of single moms – especially from Jeb Bush – 2 shots of Goldschlager
1 shot of tequila every time Donald Trump or Ted Cruz open their mouth, 2 shots if the stupidity factor of what they say defies any attempt at logic.
Headdesk cushions provided, and please, please play responsibly… by which I mean that if what the candidates are saying is starting to make sense, you’re probably drunk as shit and you absolutely NEED to turn off the debate NOW.
And please let me know how long you stayed even remotely sober. I don’t think I can handle it; even if I didn’t have work the next day and work that evening, I truly and severely doubt I had the neuro-cerebral fortitude to withstand this year’s crop of GOP stupid.